I’ve seen you and your friends munching on my front landscape garden for weeks. Today, I finally caught you on camera hiding under my hydrangea. Don’t try to deny it. You have eaten the daisies, and probably some other plants, too.
But you’ve left my vegetable garden alone. I guess I should be thankful, but I’m starting to take it personally. You would rather eat landscaping than delicious vegetables? What’s wrong with my veggies? Are you too good for my veggies, you little long-eared mooch?
I’m sorry. It was rude to call you a name– I know you’re sensitive about your ears. Still, those fences around the garden aren’t impenetrable. The dog isn’t outside all that much. If you really wanted to eat my veggies, you could do it.
I know I’m not the greatest gardener, but aren’t you being a bit cruel? Couldn’t you just nibble a basil leaf to keep my confidence up? It’s in your best interest for me to keep gardening, you know.
I’ll tell you what: You don’t even have to eat any veggies. Just let me catch you hanging out in the vegetable garden. I’m busy and a bit dense– I won’t even notice you didn’t eat anything. I’ll just think you couldn’t resist my delicious veggies.
After all the daisies you’ve eaten, it’s really the least you can do.
Scary Giant with Camera